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Thursday, April 30, 2009

X-men Origins: Wolverine - Please do not see this movie

Wolverine Blog 4-30-09

Warning – I could spoil the entire horrible movie for you right now! Read on.

Please do not go see Wolverine in the theaters. You’re killing my HSX(Hollywood Stock Exchange/HSX.com) account. No seriously I saw the bootleg version and it was terrible. If you’re an X-men fan you’re gonna be disappointed. If you’re a Wolverine fan you’re gonna wanna blow something up in Hollywood. Forget about it, IF YOU’RE A DEADPOOL FAN YOUR LIFE IS OVER!
The movie never feels right. The characters are there, but don’t treat you like you care about what the fuck is going. There’s one character that Sabertooth kills that you’re like afterwards … well that was worthless. Sabertooth is a bad ass killer and you send him after a guy that can switch light bulbs on and off. The Blob is in it … or is he? I thought they called him Omega earlier in the film. The character is terrible, he’s just a bummed out fat guy who beats people up in a boxing gym. Wolverine goes there and there’s a bullshit fight.
Sabertooth is decent but I’m sure fan boys like myself want to see this huge Jimmy in an orange and brown outfit with fur around the collar and giant claws just fuckin’ raipin’ anything he can get his hands on. Speaking of costumes, fuck you Hollywood I want to see Wolverine in the blue and yellow or brown or something fuck the leather jacket bullshit put him in his pwnn gear!!!
Gambit is one of my favorite Marvel characters of all time! I’d rather watch Bullseye in the daredevil movie. I really think they were just sitting in the executive offices of the studio and were like “We really need to get a popular character to draw in more people to the theater.” The answer was Gambit it didn’t matter who it was he was going to play a certain POINTLESS role in the movie and have absolutely no substance. Well that’s exactly what Gambit did, pointless, worthless, no Cajun accent! What the fuck?!?!
After I saw this I went and sold half my Wolverine stock on HSX.com unfortunately it’s gone up 30 dollars since then to 225$ Fuck! What that means is that Wolverine is expected to make around 225 millions dollars. I hope not. They need to make a better movie next time. Don’t support this. Please for the love of days, and comic book nerds, and people who play HSX do not see Wolverine. Save your 10 bucks!

Wolverine is Garbage!